Trauma’s Effects On Your Mind, Body and Spirit
How Do You Identify Trauma?
Our mind, body and spirit work together. Your brain scans your whole system continuously, checking for anomalies, intruders and troubling signals. Once it finds something that isn’t quite right, it circles that area and tries to fix or adjust it. Sometimes, those things can’t be changed and so every time your brain cycles, it gets stuck there. Sometimes, we develop physical symptoms to deal with the intrusion or we may develop emotional protectors, defenders or other actors to keep the pain at bay. These are ways of survival and may be helpful at the time. None-the-less, as we continue to grow, our system continues to stick at that area of trauma, and we respond in the best way we know how. Our Protective mechanisms may be that of a child or a young mom, or a helpless adolescent. We continue to use the same process that has been in place for years, even after we know that it isn’t working and may even be magnifying the problem. Over time, you notice this pattern that is self-defeating, but well ingrained, repeating itself in our lives. We feel helpless to change the triggers that cause the trauma feelings to start and how we act on those triggers.
Recently, I noticed a pattern of triggers and responses which I’ve developed. I have felt stuck at certain times in my life. One of those times was when I felt abandoned, deeply sad, alone and struggling. This was before, during and after my divorce. I felt like I had to be super woman and take care of my sons, be a great teacher, keep my finances afloat, and that failure was not an option in any of these areas. My emotions were a strength pulling from a broken heart, love that was super consuming and protective, fear of failure, determination to do my best, and optimism that disappeared into despair and a body pushed to the end of it’s limits. That was 20 years ago, but whenever I am triggered, all those thoughts, emotions and tensions come up.
With my brainspotting partner, I found this area and processed there. The emotions were as if these things were happening now, my whole system was brought to that period of my life. I was guided by my brainspotter to acknowledge the parts of me that took over at that time and did such a wonderful job. They kept me alive and moving forward. They also acknowledged the spiritual part of me that came forward: God’s love and protection. The bible verse, “I will never leave you or forsake you,” plays over and over in my mind, my sons love for me, my father who was so supportive, my mom who came to me in dreams and memories to console me, my friends and family who were all there to help, along with other God guides. I also could see darkness trying to move into my space, along with seeds of hope, joy, faith and love. The struggle was real and I was living it. My survivor parts still have those memories. But most of all, I now feel God’s arms as they wrapped around me during this entire time and kept me safe, how through it all, I was kept secure and I was able to pass that strength to others. They were impacted in positive and negative ways and they developed their own patterns of strength, courage, and hope. We all made it to shore, dripping wet, exhausted, yet triumphant.
I realized that I don’t need to do this over and over. My protective and defender parts can relax and continue to be vigilant, while knowing that I, as a whole person, have grown during these 20 years and I am strong, mature and courageous. I am also vulnerable and weak, at times. When I need those parts again, their maturity will be much more helpful than the frightened parts of 20 years ago.
If you are going through a difficult time in your life and would like some guidance, please give me a call.
I would love to talk with you.
Marie Demres, MA
Tapestry of Love, LLC
